#RHOMelbourne Season 2 Finale Recap

Although I haven’t been blogging on this franchise, I have most certainly been watching and I have been thoroughly entertained. These ladies all have brass balls and they all mesh well with each other. Even when they’re fighting, they can still have a genuinely good time with each other and have a laugh.

I often compare this show to RHOBH. Gina is the fan favorite so she’s the Lisa Vanderpump of the show. Janet, is very two faced and I have a love/hate feeling for her, so she’s like the Kyle Richards of the show. Gamble is tough, has no filter and has no problem getting down and dirty with the other housewives. She is like the Brandi Glanville of the show (when Brandi was actually likable). Lydia lives a fabulous lifestyle, and though her and her husband are still together, she reminds me of (season 2) Camille Grammer where she’s just there and kind of boring. Chyka is fun, down to earth, and tries to be the voice of reason. She’s like what Adrienne Maloof tried to be on her first season of RHOBH. Jackie is full of life, she tells it like it is, and sometimes stirs up a bit of trouble. She also reminds me of a more likable Brandi Glanville. Now, what is there to say about Pettifleur? She definitely came on the show with an agenda…which they all do but hers was mentioned every second. She refers to herself and others as “bitch” tirelessly, she’s rude, and she’s beautiful. She’s like Lisa Rinna but not as likable…for me.

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The episode starts off with Gamble’s dog race. Like Janet said, I was expecting a cute run in the park with the dogs but she pimped it out. It actually looked like a professional dog racing course. Bravo, Gamble. I can’t wait to see the races. I’m actually excited to see these cute pups race. And to make matters cuter, Gamble attaches little jockeys to the dogs. ADORABLE LEVEL: 9,000!

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Gamble’s dog wins first place, followed by Lydia’s dog and then Janet’s dog came in third. That was fun. I want to see it again.

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Next, Pettifleur is planning her 50th birthday party with Chyka. I just have to say that I think Pettifleur is drop dead gorgeous and I actually love her accent. Her theme for the party is winter wonderland. I can’t wait to see how it will look. Chyka is talking about what they will be doing to give it the wonderland look and I’m sold. Can she plan my birthday for me too?

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Pettifleur doesn’t want any drama at the party. She asks Chyka if she thinks there’s a chance there won’t be any drama at her party. Darling, you’re filming a reality show. Of course there will be drama. It’s a given that any event filmed for a reality television show, there will be drama involved. It’s all about how you handle the drama though.

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Lydia is throwing a dinner party in spirit of her newly renovated house. Her house is drop dead gorgeous. She has amazing taste and I want her to decorate my house for me one day. Gina and Gamble aren’t there. They’re like the outcast with this group, which is fine considering Gina is the fan favorite and Gamble is the new fan favorite because of her friendship with Gina. Word of advice, ladies, in the world of reality television– especially a show like this– you always align yourself with the fan favorite.

Back to the dinner party. The conversation turns to erectile dysfunction and I’m grossed out. If I were Janet I would be embarrassed to say I’m an expert in erectile dysfunction medication, that’s just gross. Yuck. Dessert is being brought out and the chocolate cigars look delicious. Pettifleur sucks on it as if she’s giving a blowjob and I’m done. Ugh.

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While everyone is preparing Pettifleur’s house for her birthday party, she’s freaking out because she’s not seeing her vision coming to life. She’s scared that Chyka won’t deliver. Uh… you’re seeing it at its worst right now, sweety.

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She’s freaking out at the event coordinator and calls Chyka to freak out at her. Chyka assures her that everything is going according to plan and to wait to see the results of their hard work.

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Janet is visiting her friend Manuela. Manuela is like the Faye Resnick of this show. She desperately wants to be a part of the show but is not really well liked by the viewers. I think Manuela is a fool, a tool and looks as if she overstocked on teeth.

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Manuela is upset that Gamble didn’t invite her to her bachelorette party. Um, am I missing something here? Do these two not know each other? Manuela calls Gamble dumb. I think Manuela is jealous that Gamble is a full fledged housewife and she’s stuck making guest appearances with the flip flopper. Of course I could be wrong and Manuela is just disgusting, plain and simple.

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It’s time for Pettifleur’s party and she has the ladies arrive to her place on a carriage like Cinderella. Well, damn! This woman knows how to make her guests arrive in style. Pettifleur finally sees the end result and it’s gorgeous. She is blown away. Duh. Chyka obviously knows what she’s doing and she did a magnificent job on this party.

At the party, Manuela confronts Gamble– because she overheard Gamble saying she’s aggressive– in an aggressive manner. Gee, what would ever give Gamble the impression that Manuela is aggressive? Manuela then proceeds to bring up the rumors again and Gamble is pissed off. She calls Manuela a c–.

Janet steps in to yell at Gamble again for telling everyone that Janet made up the rumors. Um, didn’t Janet just say a few episodes ago that she didn’t want anything to do with these rumors again? This is why I do not like Janet half the time. She is two faced, she has no real loyalty to anyone and I think she’s the most desperate out of all of them for the fame. Those who are desperate tend to do and say anything to get the most attention. Need I say more?

Pettifluer is getting ready to dance the rumba for her guests. While she’s getting herself ready, her son gives her a sweet introduction, telling everyone how Pettifleur got her name. His grandparents danced to a song called “Pettifleur” when they met and after she was born, they named her after the song. She actually did a good job with the rumba.

Next, her son is playing the song on the piano and Pettifleur is clearly in the moment. Chyka was laughing at Pettifleurs attempt to try and snap her fingers. It was funny to see but not appropriate timing. But I laughed anyway. Ha.

Gamble asks Gina why she brought up the rumors at her bachelorette party and include her makeup artist that time. Gamble then asks Jackie what she meant when she told Gamble that Gina wanted to throw the new girls under the bus. Jackie explains herself and Gamble decides that she’s not going to throw away their friendship because of what Gina said before they knew each other.

Gina and Jackie start to get into it. Janet gets involved and sides with Jackie and attacks Gamble again and I’m just like

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Gina jokingly tells Jackie that she and Gamble won’t be friends anymore and if that made her happy. Janet of course says yes. That says a lot. She doesn’t want any of these girls to be friends with Gina so that Gina feels like the outcast and quits the show so that she will be the fan favorite. At least that’s how it comes across to me. I have a newsflash for you, Janet, even if Gina did leave the show, Gamble and Jackie would still be more favored than you. Your duplicitous nature will lead to your demise on the show. Mark my words.

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Gina is over this argument. She tells Jackie and Janet that their pupils are dilated and walks away. Jackie is pissed off and goes after Gina. It’s quite ugly and selfish as this is Pettifleur’s birthday. But like I said, it’s a reality show and where there are cameras, there’s drama. Gina decides to leave and Gamble leaves with her because she believes Gina has always had her back and she will have Gina’s. I love these two together.

What did you think of this episode and the entire season for that matter? Let me know in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21.

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#RHOMelbourne S02E01 “Fresh Start, New Faces” Recap

Initially I wasn’t going to blog about The Real Housewives of Melbourne, but seeing as people love it and I secretly do too, I figured, what the hell? Why not? So before I recap this episode, here’s what I think about all the wives past and present.

Gina Liano- She’s fabulous and I love her potty mouth. She is a bit of a fibber but I still like her nonetheless. Oh yeah, she’s a lawyer. It’s only season 2 but I hope she’s not shady like Phaedra.

Lydia Schiavello- Initially I thought Lydia was dull and full of it. As the season progressed I knew Lydia was dull and full of it. She takes herself way too seriously, but that could be said for all of them, with the possible exception of Gina, Jackie and Chyka.

Janet Roach- Probably the most desperate out of all the women. She flip flops when it comes to her friends. She has no real loyalty to anyone. Basically it’s like the skeletor version of Brandi. It’s only the first episode of the second season and the bitch has already surpassed thirsty. She’s now dehydrated.

Jackie Gillies- Shine, shine, shine! Jackie is the psychic of the group and a lightning rod. It is my opinion that she’s one of the two– the other being Chyka– who keeps it real.

Chyka Keebough- Chyka is my absolute favorite. She tells it like it is, but in a soft, gentle and respectable way. She’s the Switzerland of the group and some of the others have  had issues with that in the past. Why? Because she’s not picking their sides. They need to grow up and be a woman like Chyka.

Andrea Moss- A few words come to mind when describing Andrea: boring, idiot, pretentious, elitist, cliché, petty, the list goes on and on. She basically lead the charge in the gang up of Gina in season 1 over stupid and petty things. I, for one, will not miss her.

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We start with Lydia, Chyka and Jackie meeting for lunch. Loving Chyka’s style– especially her hair. Lydia wants us to know that people think she’s pretentious and this and that and basically confirming that I’m not the only one with these feelings. Chyka is incredibly proud that she and Bruce are still together after 25 years of marriage. They are a lovely couple. Jackie is still keeping it real and shine, shine, shining.

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They’re talking about dieting and pounding. You know, girl talk. The waiter comes and Lydia says she likes wet pussies… the drink, people! Yeah, I’ve never heard of it either.

Janet is driving around and says she’s going to fight her own battles and allow others to do the same. Ha! Yeah, right. And I’m the tooth fairy. She’s inviting them to her birthday party. They ask if Gina is invited and she says she’d love to invite her. Janet then describes their relationship as being “frenemies.” Literally. Dear, God. We’re already five minutes in and this woman is annoying the shit out of me.

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Janet goes to meet up with this younger guy who owns a restaurant to plan her birthday party. We’re supposed to believe that this man is interested in Janet romantically. She says she wasn’t going to have a birthday party this year but when she talked to Carlos she decided to have it after all. Translation: she only decided to have the party to get camera time.

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He tells her that they won’t be able to use the original venue anymore. She’s pretending to freak out and I’m trying not to fall asleep. Enough of this woman, can we get to Gina please? He then proceeds to kiss her ass and it’s gross. So is her hair extensions. Why do these women have such bad hair? Brandi, Adrienne, Janet, etc. Do these women own a brush?

Back at lunch with Chyka, Jackie and Lydia. Chyka shares that she had found lumps on her breast and was worried about it but on the day of getting her test results, Jackie texted her and told her that everything will be fine, and it was. Lydia says that her stepson’s getting married soon and calls herself the mother of the groom.

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You are step-mother of the groom. Know your lane and stay in it. Apparently they’re going to Florence for the wedding. Who’s her stepson? Kanye West? She discovers that her assistant bought conditioner instead of shampoo and she calls her to tell her to go buy some. Buy your own shampoo, girl. You’re going shopping anyway, right?

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Janet stops by her hair stylist. He got himself some extensions and clearly that’s not his area of expertise. His hair actually makes Janet’s look red carpet ready. She leaves Gina a voicemail, inviting her to the party and she calls back and accepts. Janet is happy because she knows this will mean more camera time.

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Finally we’re getting to Gina. She believes people get the wrong impression of her because of the image she presents. She says that what you see is what you get with her, you just have to look for a while. She meets up with her sister for lunch. Gina tells her sister that she’s planning to move to the US to be with her partner. She also says that her friendship with Lydia is fractured, saying that it’s like a glass; once it’s broken, you can put all the pieces back together but it will always have cracks.

Bloody hell, it’s a Janet-centric episode. No wonder I’m bored. She goes to buy cake. Done.

Lydia is getting ready for Janet’s party and we’re being introduced to her mom. Her mom is not fond of Gina and is quite snarky. I like it.

Chyka and Jackie are riding together. I like the both of them, a lot. Meanwhile, Gina and Lydia are riding together. It is awkward. Lydia apologizes to Gina and hopes they can move forward together in a positive direction. That’s nice.

We’re now at Janet’s party. Yippee, how fun. It’s time to meet the two new housewives. The first one is Gamble Breaux.

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Gamble is single with a cute Pomeranian. She has a boyfriend of 5 years. I have mixed feelings about her. On the one hand she doesn’t like food, and food is like my number 1. But she also loves men, saying they are simply gorgeous and that they are her greatest weakness. Hey, me too. I like her personality for sure.

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Next, we’re being introduced to Pettifleur Berenger, and she wants us to call her Pettifleur. I think before we’re even 1/4 way through this season I’ll be calling her Petty. She seems to have a real bitch complex because she cannot stop using the word when referring to herself and other women. She thinks it’s taking back the word as her own. No, you just sound ridiculous.

I feel like I dislike her 80% more than I like her. She’s beautiful though, I’ll give her that. At the party she’s already giving attitude. Well, okay then. Looks like this will be a very opinionated season.

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The next day, at least we’re supposed to believe it’s the next day, Gamble takes Gina for lunch because she immediately liked her when she met her. She says something just clicked. Translation: she knows who the fan favorite is and is befriending her to get more camera time. She tells Gina about Janet bitching about her at her party. Now Gina is on high alert. Only the first episode and already stirring up trouble, Gamble? Hmm…

Lastly, Janet meets with Carlos and his pet pig to gossip about Gamble. Janet is gross and messy. Next week, she pisses Gamble off. That was quick. This should be good.

What did you think of this week’s episode? Let me know in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21.