#RHOBH S05E14 “Surprise!” Recap

Apologies for the late blogging but I’ve been super busy these days. For the last few weeks I’ve been working 10-12 hours a day non-stop. Finally found some time off to do a bit of blogging. Since I don’t have time to blog about all the episodes that I missed, I’m just going to give my brief opinions on them.

Episode 12: Watching Lisa V struggle with the fact that Max wants to learn more about his heritage makes me appreciate my mom even more. I feel bad for Kim and Kyle. I feel bad for Kyle because Kim is allowing Brandi to come between her and her sister and I feel bad for Kim because she is clearly not sober and Brandi is manipulating her into believing Kyle doesn’t care for her. I do believe Kyle loves and cares for her sister but Kyle still has a teenager and a child to raise. Brandi is a bitch. Lisa R. and Eileen are amazing and Yolanda is currently on my good side and in my thoughts and prayers as she battles her relapse with Lyme Disease.

Episode 13: The reactions of Kyle and Lisas V and R to Eileen’s movie is hilarious! Watching Lisa V and Pandora cry because they’re worried Max wants to connect with his biological family breaks my heart. I do not ever want or like to see them cry. She must also be relieved after Max said that he doesn’t want to look for his biological family after getting the results. Brandi is an even bigger bitch for likening her drinking to Bella’s. Yolanda is a good woman for keeping her composure and not strangling the hell out of that woman. Eileen is lovely for trying to mediate between Kim and Kyle. Kim has no reason to dislike Eileen. Kim is being ridiculous.

And now let’s get to episode 14, shall we?

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The episode starts off with Kyle visiting Lisa V. Well, not really. It actually starts off with Yolanda but since Brandi is visiting her, I’m skipping it. Kyle is angry and hurt that Kim continues to allow Brandi to come between them.

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Lisa advises Kyle to not pay attention to what Brandi says because she’s only looking for a reaction. I agree. Everything Brandi does is for shock value and a lot of the women give her the reactions that she’s looking for. The quickest way to shut that parasite down is to ignore her.

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Eileen and Vince are out on a date night. I like these two together. They have a fun banter about them. They’re like what Adrienne and Paul tried to be. I feel like I’ve said that before but I don’t care because it’s true.

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She is arranging a table read at her house and is wise enough to not invite Brandi this time. She makes it clear there will be no alcohol this time because these women are already turned up enough as it is. Have I mentioned how much I love this woman? Her ability to read people will be legend.

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Back to Lisa V, she’s playing with her dogs while waiting for Lisa R. to arrive. When she comes, they go to Eileen’s together. I love the Lisas together. They need their own spin off. I’ll keep repeating it until it comes true. On their way, Lisa is worried about Kim. She needs her relationship with her sister to be solid. I agree and so does Lisa R. Lisa R. wants to do a Kimtervention but Lisa V. assures her that that’s not a good idea. Listen to Pinky, Rin Tin Tin! She speaketh from experience…eth!  Rin Tin Tin doesn’t know why everyone is so scared of Kim. I don’t think they’re scared, I think they just don’t want to deal with the drama from her because we’ve seen her lose it when asked if she took a sleeping pill. Also, I believe that they don’t say anything on camera because they’re trying to protect her.

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Kyle picks Kim  up and they’re both acting like everything is fine. They haven’t seen each other since the lunch between her and Kyle. Kyle says sometimes it’s best to brush things under the carpet. Little things maybe, but not when you have a blow out like you did at the lunch. When you brush too many things under the carpet, it’s only a matter of time before somebody trips and explodes…like at Taylor’s birthday party in season 1. (The limo fight between Kim and Kyle).

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It’s time for Vince’s table read. Rin Tin Tin is not happy with the fact that she’s the narrator. The script is rather confusing so Rin Tin Tin sums it up for us: “Basically, it’s someone ‘Poker-fucking a puppet.”

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Eileen brings her Emmy and Pinky has the best acceptance speech ever. tumblr_njzpbnFW1a1ql5yr7o1_500

They all head over into the kitchen. Rin Tin Tin asks Kim how she’s doing and Kim basically says she’s  under a lot of stress with Monty and everything. They try to offer their support but Kim responds with a “Blah, blah, blah…”

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Very well said, Rin Tin Tin.

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Yolanda is at home and I’m mortified at how many  pills she has to take in a day. She takes more pills in one day than I take in a year. Jeez!

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Her party planners are over to plan the scavenger hunt around Beverly Hills and I’m looking forward to it. It looks like a lot of fun. Actually, it is. I have participated in a couple with my friends when I was in high school.

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It’s time for Pinky’s party! Yay! Ken has her believing that they’re having an intimate dinner with Mohammed and he stages a problem at PUMP for them to fix. Lisa is none too pleased about that, but little does she know, she’s in for a big surprise.

By the way, I see Brandi there and I have no idea why. I guess that’s what happens when you skip a few scenes. Oops. Everybody is hiding behind the bar and when Ken and Lisa arrive, they all emerge from the bar and scream. The look on Lisa’s face was priceless, but I think Giggy might have been more surprised than she was.

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Mohammed makes a lovely speech, Brandi makes fun then excuses herself to the bathroom. Lisa makes a speech, it’s funny, Brandi returns and Lisa sends her off for her next punishment: karaoke. I can see why that would be a punishment but it’s also kind of a punishment for the other guests to have to listen to that screeching. I’ve heard cats in heat that sound far better than that.

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It’s Pinky’s turn to sing and she has a very classic and elegant voice. Kim, Lisa R and Kyle join her and Brandi calls them the menopause mamas because “I still get the flow, if you know what that means.” Yes, Brandi, we know you still get the flow. In fact the entire world knows you still get the flow ever since you were photographed being sloppy drunk with your ass and tampon string hanging out of your cooch. We know it’s not there for show!

Eileen comes out of the bathroom while Kyle is outside fixing her makeup. She tells Kyle what her and Lisa R have been talking about and that they both feel a moral obligation to say something since they’ve witnessed the craziness. In Kyle’s words: This is not going to end well.

What did you think of this episode? I can’t wait to see all the drama unfold in Amsterdam. It’s actually kind of sad. Let me know what you think of this episode in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21.

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