It’s the episode we’ve been waiting for! The episode appropriately named “Puerto Read-co.” I’ve been hearing about this trip for months after it was filmed. I read that Claudia had read Nene for filth and I could not wait to see it. I must admit, this episode did not disappoint, nor did Claudia. I’m glad somebody finally put Nene in her place. This is probably the shadiest episode ever in the history of the show. And the best shade came from Claudia. YAAASS!!! Claudia became my favorite Atlanta housewife in this episode. I already loved her, but my love grew. It’s a battle between Team Pretty versus Team Beast and tonight, Team Pretty won.
We start off with Kenya accompanying Claudia to the doctor to see if she can “fix” the mess that she’s been telling us about known as her feet; specifically, her toes. The time has come for Claudia to show her toes once and for all and Kenya’s reaction sums it up best for everyone watching.
I also have to give kudos to Claudia for revealing it in front of the world. That took guts, more than what’s hanging over Nene’s pants. The doctor says that basically she has to have surgery to correct everything so she’ll just have to hide her toes in the sand in Puerto Rico.
Kandi meets up with Demetria for drinks and Kandi apologizes to her because she felt bad about the bomb that her friend had dropped on her at her house. A lot of people are accusing Kandi of setting up Demetria. Do I believe it? No. That seems like something her BFF would do, or Nene or Porsha. Kandi has remained the same humble person she was since she started the show. Demetria accepts her apology and respects Kandi’s hustle. Kandi gives her some sex advice and all is well between the two.
Kenya meets Cynthia at The Bailey Agency (ooh, that sounds so chic) along with Cynthia’s assistant, Carlton. They’re trying to help Kenya find a new assistant. She gives them the qualifications her assistant will need and Cynthia said it best, “Michelle Obama needs less help than Kenya does.” Kenya is channeling her inner Miranda Priestly.
The assistants leave and Kenya tells Cynthia that she’s still upset about Nene giving her the cold shoulder at Kandi’s party. At this point, I don’t see why she is surprised. The only person Nene loves is Nene. There’s no more room for anybody else. Nene is her own WCW (woman crush Wednesday) and MCM (man crush Monday). They both come to the realization that Nene is just mean. Welcome to the club, ladies. We took those rose covered glasses off a long time ago. Cynthia doesn’t know who’s coming to Puerto Rico. Will it be NayNay, Nene or Flip-flopping Nene? Kenya’s response to that:
Nene is on her way to meet Demetria at the studio. On her way she calls Phaedra. Now, am I the only one who thinks this friendship is bullshit? They’ve hated each other ever since Phaedra got on the show, now all of a sudden Nene’s doing interviews saying that she was Phaedra’s rock? Anyway, Demetria can sing! Where was she when Kandi was doing Don’t Be Tardy For The Party? Phaedra arrives after Nene and she’s acting like a bitter old lady. I will say that I believe Phaedra should be in jail with her huzzzband, but the difference between her and Apollo is she’s just a little bit smarter than him. #TeamAngelaStaton
Demetria, Kandi and Porsha are the first ones to arrive in Puerto Rico. Damn, ever since Porsha got her married sugar daddy she’s been acting like she’s the queen. Well, the real queen snatched her peach. Ha! Plus, she’s wearing the smallest dress ever and the highest shoes. She looks like a damn fool. On the rooftop, Demetria says that the only person she’s been having some tension with is Phaedra. Kandi and Porsha try to assure her that Phaedra is a good person. No, Kandi’s just a good friend. Phaedra is the furthest thing from a good person– and a Christian for that matter.
Kenya, Cynthia and Claudia are the next to arrive aka Team Pretty. Kenya says they’re going to hold the others’ heads in the water until they become nice. Basically like a baptism/exorcism– a bexorcism. Well, if that’s their plan, then they’re definitely going to murder some heifers. Kenya loves that she’s on an all expense paid vacation, courtesy of Roger Bobb.
They arrive at the hotel and Demetria basically ditches Kandi and Porsha to be with them. She tells them about the reading Phaedra has been doing to her and Kenya basically tells her to address it and be honest about how she feels. Good advice, but not the right person to discuss your issues with, girl. Have you forgotten how she is when you try to hold her accountable for her actions?
Nene and Phaedra arrive last. Yeah, that’s it. Boring. These two do not belong on the show. Phaedra is a boring criminal (allegedly) and Nene is just plain boring with a bad wig on. Bravo is wasting their money on this woman.
After arriving to the hotel, Demetria shows Nene to her room and she’s immediately being a bitch. Well, if she doesn’t like it then maybe she can pay for her own suite. I mean, she is rich, y’all! Phaedra throws some shade at Demetria’s stylist and I’m over this woman.
The time has come for Claudia to read the hell out of Nene. I have my popcorn ready. Let’s begin. Claudia, Kenya, Cynthia and Demetria are the first ones to sit at the table, followed by Kandi and Team Beast. Demetria immediately addresses Phaedra about the unnecessary shade she’s been throwing at her and Phaekdra is instantly on the defense. Phaedra tells Demetria that at her age, should she really be trying to become a pop star and Demetria reminds her that she’s younger than her.
Demetria also calls her out for throwing shade at her relationship with Roger and Phaedra tries to throw more shade. Well, Demetria is having NONE of it and gives her a good read, “The only thing we have in common is the number eight. Yours is going and mine’s been here for eight.” Phaedra is stumbling to find words and says that unlike Demetria she has a ring from her husband. I’m pretty sure that ring belongs to the countless victims Apollo scammed.
Cynthia tries to make peace between the two and Nene, the rude bull that she is, (and I meant bull not bully because she looks and chews like one) shuts her down. Oh, Nene was all for Cynthia having a backbone in the past, just not when it’s against her. Got it. The table is silent for a while.
Claudia tries to make peace and Nene tries to come for her. I’m literally shouting to my screen, “Nene…
In her confessional, Nene is saying that Claudia is not the “it” girl. All the while looking like this:
If this is what an “it” girl is supposed to look like, Claudia is lucky she isn’t one. “Oh, you have your own brain? Oh okay,” Nene quips. “Why wouldn’t I have my own brain? Nene stop,” Claudia fires back. It’s on from here!
Claudia: From the woman who’s the puppet master.
Nene: Puppet master? Giiiirl.
In her confessional Claudia makes it known, “Just because I’m quiet doesn’t mean I don’t have the fire up inside me to get you together. Bitch, I ain’t no puppet. You about to find out.”
Claudia: What jobs? The ones that got cancelled?
Nene: My checks didn’t get cancelled though. You wish you had what I had in the bank, darling.
Have you ever noticed that the moment Nene is losing an argument, she starts to flaunt her bank account in everyone’s faces? Nobody cares, honey. The only one checking for your bank account is you.
Claudia: I do, you’re right. For 17 years I’ve been working. I pay my own bills, I don’t have to get on a pole.
Nene: You know you filed bankruptcy, girl.
Claudia: Never been arrested!
Nene: I was arrested in my twenties when I was in college.
Claudia: You went to college?
Kenya: Seven times.
And never graduated either!
Nene: You need to pull my record.
Claudia: Spell “bridesmaids!” The “S” is not silent, honey.
Nene: Let’s talk about something now. I’m in my 40’s. You’re in your 40’s.
Claudia: I am, but we look 20 years apart at least.
Then, the best line of the night:
Even Kandi admits that Claudia is reading Nene like “Hooked on Phonics.” YAASSS! Nene shows Cluadia the back of her head and tells her bye. Also funny to note, whenever Nene doesn’t have a response, she tells somebody “Girl, bye.” And she says that Claudia needs to have her argument with the queen. I was looking around to see if Lawrence showed up because he’s the only queen I know about in that group. Nene’s just a drag.
Claudia calls her out about her being so rich but buying Ramen Noodles looking hair.
The only response Nene can come up with is “Yes, this is the hair I choose to buy.”
Realizing that she’s on the losing end, Nene tries to go for the jugular. She calls Claudia a half-breed and a whore. I’m done with this pig. To be continued, folks.
Well, this episode was electric. As I said, I for one am happy that Claudia put Nene in her place. I can’t wait for next week’s episode.
What did you all think of last night’s episode? Let me know in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21.