#RHOA S07E09 “Shades of Shade” Recap

Hey, guys. Once, again, I apologize that I haven’t been posting. It’s been hectic lately and I finally have some time to write my recaps.

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Cynthia and Peter are out scouting for a new location for Bar One. I’m sure the editors added in the police sirens to make it seem like a dangerous place. The new location for Bar One is a mess but Cynthia is excited because she sees potential to make anything she wants to. Well go on girl, with ya bad self! I’ll be looking forward to the end results. By the way, if you ever need help, call Lisa Vanderpump. You know that woman has amazing taste.

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Claudia visits Kandi at the Kandi factory. Even though we’re still getting to know Claudia, I love her…like more than I do a lot of the other women. There’s something about her that is very real and down to Earth that I like. Anyway, back to the show. Claudia says that she likes to learn from her friends and Kandi seems like the type of person she can learn from who is also supportive without the jealousy and hostility attached. You hit the nail on the head with that one.

They click immediately and Kandi does an impromptu audition for Claudia to be on Kandi Koated Nights. Yep, I enjoy Kenya and Claudia together, but Kandi and Claudia are just as hilarious. I’m going to need more segments of these two together. Bravo, make it happen. Oh yeah, Claudia also spill the beans about Porsha’s African boyfriend. And to think in season 5 everyone was calling Kenya a copycat for the booty DVD.

Phaedra is… I could care less. I do not like this donkey ass at all. Skipping!

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Kenya takes her aunt, Lori, to get facials. I have to say, Kenya is slaying in that outfit. I’m going to need her to dress like that from now on. YAASSS, honey! Aunt Lori says that the facial is better than botox and Kenya says that natural is always better and that you only do botox when you look like Nene.

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Kenya tells Lori about the dinner she had with Nene and Porsha and she’s actually happy about making amends with them. She also tells Lori that Nene had mentioned that they are friends again. Girl, you know that heifer did not mean that.

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Nene is at her house and Gregg is tagging along. Her agent calls her and tells her about some offers she’s gotten to do Broadway, one of them being Cinderella. Nene picked Cinderella. She says that she cannot relate to playing the evil stepmother.

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I live for that! Bitch, stop playin’!

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You know you shady as hell.

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It’s time for Kandi Koated Nights! With their special guest, Claudia!!! Kandi says it can be frustrating working with Todd because they both like to run everything and that causes them to bump heads. It’s a partnership now, Boo. Compromise!

The topic for the episode is business versus pleasure. The upside of Kandi’s relationship with Todd is that when she does a good show, Todd gets a good show at home. The downside is that it turns into business all the time. Kandi’s female co-host is hilarious.

It’s time for Claudia!!! To set the record straight, Claudia has never messed with Jamie Foxx. Too bad, I would have. Since she used to be on The Price is Right, they’re playing a game called, What Would You Do For The Right Price. Ooh, I already know I’m going to love it. I should try this with my friends. For five hundred dollars, she would French kiss Kandi. Hey, I’d do it for free.

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Cynthia meets up with Peter at the old Bar One location. The new location will be closed soon and Cynthia is looking forward to moving on because they had a lot of issues there. She feels confident about the new location being in a historical black neighborhood. Peter reminds her that all of his headaches will be her headaches as well so she better be ready.

Ooh, look, another Phaedra segment.

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It’s time for Kandi’s sex talk party. There’s a half naked woman on the table surrounded by desserts. Seeing as it is an all female party, I would think that a half naked man would be better. Just saying. Phaedra arrives. Ugh. Porsha arrives. Why? This chick has been irrelevant ever since Kordell and Kenya dismissed her. Please, Bravo, do not invite her back for season 8.

Cynthia, Claudia and Kenya arrive next, followed by Demetria. Thank God. Then Nene. Kenya goes to give her a hug and Nene gives her the cold shoulder. Nene says that they’re cool but she doesn’t want Kenya thinking and telling people they are friends. Then maybe she shouldn’t have told her they were.

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She then completely ices out Claudia. Mm, mm, mm. That’s a low down dirty monkey with a Ramen noodles wig on. Well, Claudia is not having any of it. Claudia pulls her aside and calls her out on it. Nene retaliates saying that they only met once and she doesn’t know her well enough to be excited to see her. Well, she met Demetria for the first time at this party and Demetria got a hug and a kiss… If you want to go around and say you keep it real, then that requires you to be honest. Just say that you don’t like Claudia because she’s friends with Kenya. Isn’t that why Nene is no longer friends with Marlo?

They all gather around and it’s time for them to be strapped next to each other. The doctor calls on Nene and Cynthia and Nene immediately shuts it down. Dear God, this woman does not belong on this show anymore. I’m tired of her ugly ass mug. Kandi then asks Claudia to go sit beside Nene and there goes that mug again. Kandi is over Nene and is all:

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Kandi then calls on Kenya to get on her back and she straps on to Kenya. It looks like fun for people who are actually friends. Nene does not belong there because she does not have a single friend in that room.

They all take turns introducing themselves and reveal how long they’ve been in relationships. Nene starts and whatever. Claudia admits to the group that she was married before and it disappointed her family. That’s sad to hear. Kandi’s friend Gocha (Go-shay) has been in a relationship for almost a year. Porsha says that she’s in a long distance relationship and Claudia puts her relationship on blast.

Porsha was in a relationship with a married millionaire from Nigeria and he has 20 other Porshas…and she doesn’t mean the car. The SHADE!!! I live!

It’s Demetria’s turn and she announces that she’s been in an on again, off again relationship with Roger Bobb. Gocha tells Demetria that she dated Roger Bobb during their off again period. Oh, Lord. Here we go. Cynthia said it best:

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Demetria gets up and walks out of the party and Cynthia follows her. Demetria believes Gocha (I’m sorry, every time I type and read that girl’s name I’m reading it as “Gotcha”) is lying. Everybody else is questioning Roger’s motives to keeping them so private but Kenya stands up for Demetria and says that he did claim her as his lady. Demetria says that they were together during the time that Gocha says they were together, but in the party, didn’t Demetria confirm that they were not together at that time? I’m confused.

Well this was an interesting episode. I, personally, cannot wait for tonight’s episode. I’ve been  hearing for months that Claudia read Nene for filth in Puerto Rico and tonight we finally get to see it. YAASSS!

What did you think of this episode? Let me know in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21.

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