#RHOBH S05E08 “Winning and Dining” Recap

It’s the episode we’ve all been waiting for: the wine toss spilled around the world! A lot of people have been complaining what a snoozefest this season has been so far but I, personally, love it. After a colossal failure that was season 4, I think starting off this season to a slow, lighthearted start is just what the show needed. The glamour is back, there are real emotional storylines this time, epic shade throwing, and Yolanda bitching and whining about not being invited to events.

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We start off with Lisa and Ken at Villa Rosa. She is getting ready to finally have a one on one conversation with Brandi. Ken basically has the same attitude that I have. Why bother? You’ll make up and it’ll only be a matter of time before she offends you again. At the restaurant, Brandi says in her confessional that she is owed an apology from Lisa. Well, you got it at the reunion, idiot. However, Lisa is owed a plethora of apologies from you.

Lisa arrives at the restaurant and they immediately get to the point. Brandi says that she wants to have a heavy conversation with Lisa because she wants to move forward. Lisa, like me, is mystified. Apparently Brandi got Yolanda’s Lyme brain and forgot about all the horrible things she’s said and done to Lisa over the last year. Lisa questions after everything she’s said about her, why does she want Lisa back in her life and it’s a valid question. Brandi tries to deflect by saying that Lisa said some “horrible” things about her and I’m like

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No honey. You publicly tried to crucify her for over 6 months, you staged a gang up on Lisa and you publicly bashed and humiliated her in every interview you went on. By the way, all those “horrible” things she said about you, was her defending herself against your slanderous remarks and attacks.

Lisa asks Brandi what exactly she wants from her and Brandi starts off by saying that she obviously cares about her. Can somebody please pin point exactly what made that obvious? Because I don’t see that at all, and apparently neither does Lisa. Brandi fails to realize that there are consequences for her actions and the things that she says and one of those consequences is

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Lisa also brings up the fact that Ken went above and beyond to defend her but Brandi tries to dismiss it by saying that they dropped her as a friend. Uh, no, you told Lisa to f–k off, remember? So don’t get butt hurt just because they obliged, girl.

Brandi says that they weren’t there for her when her dog went missing, yes they were, you just need to stop drinking and you’ll remember. She also says that they weren’t there for her when she was depressed– again, you’ve been depressed ever since Eddie cheated on you and you never let us forget it, so yes, they were there for you. I also have to say that what you went through wasn’t depression. Depression doesn’t make you a raging bitch, it makes you depressed. And finally, she says that they weren’t there for her when she and her dad stopped talking to each other and if my memory serves correct, didn’t she already tell Lisa to f–k off by that point? Not to mention when she was going to Sacramento to visit her family, she took Yolanda instead because she felt Yolanda was more down to Earth than Lisa. So, why is she placing all this blame on Lisa?

Lisa asks her once more what she wants from her and Brandi says she wants to have fun with her again. Lisa insists that if that’s the case, then she needs to apologize first and Brandi retaliates by asking if she will apologize to her. Oh, Lord.

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Yolanda is with her daughter, Bella, at a photo shoot. She’s helping Bella find an apartment for when she moves to New York. Bella is still facing the consequences from her DUI. Yolanda is still dealing with trust issues when it comes to allowing Bella to make decisions for herself but realizes that she has no choice now since she’ll soon be off to college. At least she’ll have Gigi there.

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Back to the lunch, Lisa apologizes for not giving Brandi the heads up that Scheana would be at certain events, as was REQUESTED BY PRODUCTION. Brandi is shocked that Lisa apologized. Why? She did at the reunion. I wish Bravo would give us a montage of all the times Lisa freely apologized to people if she offended them. However, I will say that if Lisa wasn’t too willing to offer apologies at the reunion, I don’t blame her. We’re both Virgos and the fastest way for us to not do something, is by trying to force us to do it. So, would I want to offer apologies to 4 mean, nasty bitches trying to force it out of me? No.

Brandi then apologizes for lying about saying Lisa and Ken were bankrupt.

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You have a lot more apologies that you need to give. But clearly, that won’t happen.

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Yolanda, Lisa Rinna, Eileen and Brandi meet up for dinner. Eileen asks Yolanda if she’s ready for her dinner party the next night. Yolanda says that after dinner she wants everyone to go outside around the fireplace and make s’mores. That sounds like fun. Brandi tells them about her lunch with Lisa. Then, in her confessional, Yolanda presumes to tell us who she thinks Lisa is…again.

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Over at Kyle’s house, Kyle is teaching Alexia how to do her laundry. Okay, with scenes like this, I can see why people think this season is boring. But, yeah, it is what it is. Alexia tells Kyle the story about when she was younger and was playing hide and seek with her cousins and Kimberly, Kim’s daughter, hid in the dryer and Kathy’s son, I forgot which, turned it on with her inside. Yikes. They head out to the kitchen and Kyle starts breaking down in tears and tells Alexia that if ever she’s not happy at school, she can always come back home. I’ll be right back, I have to go hug my mom.

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Finally, it’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for. It’s wine toss time. Eileen starts telling the story of how she met Vince and Brandi is quick to point out that he was married when they met. Oh, Lord, here we go. Eileen tells her that she was upfront about her feelings for Vince to her ex-husband and that she empathizes with Brandi for what Eddie did to her. Brandi says that she admires her honesty.

Then Brandi: The Super Fan, comes out. She starts badgering Eileen to redo scenes from Days of Our Lives much to Eileen’s chagrin. Eileen is clearly uncomfortable and Brandi just keeps on pushing. For the love of God, Brandi, stop trying to force Eileen to go into character! It’s not going to happen! Just like Gretchen Wieners couldn’t make “fetch” happen! Brandi then gives Eileen $40 to do it and Eileen politely gives it back.

Brandi tells her that she will throw the glass of wine on her if she doesn’t do it but nobody seems to hear her. The dramatic music starts to play and I can already see the wine toss coming in 3…2…1.

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Eileen tries to laugh it off but it quickly turns to tears. Eileen says she feels humiliated, angry and violated. Way to go Brandi. Lisa R. says that if Brandi had done that to her, she’d be in the back of a cop car. I LOVE THIS WOMAN! Bravo, please fire Brandi.

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It’s the day of the dinner and Yolanda is getting ready. Vince wants to chill and talk with Eileen a little bit before they go to Yolanda’s. Vince offers her a glass of wine and Eileen says she’s staying away from wine for a while. Don’t do that. Stay away from Brandi instead. It’s much more effective.

At Yolanda’s, Kyle is the first one to arrive and Yolanda takes her outside to tell her about the wine toss. Kyle’s face says it all. Eileen then shows up, followed by the two Lisas. Eileen pulls Lisa V aside and tells her about the night before. Lisa is stunned and says that this is a new low for Brandi. Is it? I don’t know why but I don’t feel like this is the worst thing that Brandi has done, although it’s still pretty damn bad.

Brandi arrives and she goes to have a talk with Eileen one on one. She gives her a necklace, even though it wasn’t wrapped, and apologizes for what she did. Eileen accepts the apology but makes it known that she still doesn’t trust Brandi. Smart woman. Remember that. Brandi says she feels terrible for doing it. Really? Because in your confessional you laughed about it and said you did it because of Eileen’s story about how she met her husband and because she didn’t do what you wanted.

Kim arrives and she looks gorgeous, probably the best out of all the ladies. Brandi immediately tells her about the wine toss and the first thing Kim asks her is if she was drunk. That’s sad. That’s really sad.

It’s time for dinner and they’re talking about not remembering people’s names even though you recognize them. Lisa R says that Harry Hamlin does it all the time. Lisa V also admits that she does it as well. They ask her if she remembers what Kenny Edmonds’ name is. She calls him “Papaface.”

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Yolanda gets up and makes a speech. She says that she loves to talk (we’ve noticed) because she lost her voice for two years. She makes a toast to Eileen’s Emmy win and Brandi, of course, interrupts (ever notice that she can never let anyone have their own moment?) and jokes to Eileen by telling her to go into character. Eileen is all

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Yolanda also makes a toast to Lisa’s opening of PUMP and throws in another dig about not being invited.

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For God’s sake, woman, let it go! You’re the only one who cares. And isn’t it ironic that Yolanda also accuses Lisa of not letting things go? Brandi is talking to Babyface and David has to remind her that he’s married. She tries to awkwardly change the topic by pointing out his wife’s beautiful ring. That’s sweet, but just not Brandi, is it? No, she has to put her foot in her mouth, and there it goes! She says that the diamond needs to be bigger. Wow. As Lisa V  wisely says, it’s so emasculating. It’s like telling a man

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Of course, it’s a dinner party so she has to put her other foot in her mouth as well. She says that if he buys his wife a lot of jewelry so early in the marriage then he’s probably cheating on her. Oh.My.God. I’m surprised Yolanda hasn’t kicked her out of the dinner party yet. Babyface handles himself with grace and dignity.

They’re now outside around the fireplace. Brandi is already drunk and embarrassing herself. I’m sorry, embarrassing herself even more. Lisa R takes Eileen back inside and they talk about the night before. Eileen says that she feels sorry for Brandi and Lisa R feels the same way plus she thinks Brandi is white trash. Agreed.

Now everyone is around the piano. David tells them the rules of the game. They’re basically going to make up the lyrics to the song as they go along. Brandi ruins the moment by asking David why he is making finger gestures as if he’s finger banging his wife. Okay, I’m done.

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What did you all think of this episode? Let me know in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21. Next week’s episode looks very emotional.

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