#PumpRules S03E08 “Mind The Jax” Recap

Happy New Year everyone! I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and New Year. So sorry I haven’t been keeping up with my recaps. Things have been crazy busy lately and I finally have some down time to catch up on the recaps. Let’s get down to it, shall we?

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Lisa is having a meeting at Villa Blanca with the executive chef there. She admits that she has dropped the ball a bit with Villa Blanca due to the stress of opening PUMP. After the meeting she runs into Jax. Jax inquires about Vail and Lisa immediately warns him to stay away from her. Lisa could care less who he sleeps with as long as it’s not somebody working at SUR. I have an idea, Lisa, fire the piece of shit that is known as Jax, and fire Kristen and her fetus fame whoring boyfriend, James as well!

Next, I see James and Kristen and Scheana and Shay together and I’m skipping it. I love Scheana but not enough for me to burn my eyes watching Kristen. Just writing about her has me smelling cigarettes and stale coffee. Yuck.

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Stassi, Katie, Kristina, Dani and Vail get together for dinner. Stassi wants to take Vail under her wing and teach her who to like and hate at SUR. Sidenote: I’m over Stassi. I used to like her, I thought she was funny, but she’s nothing more than an ungrateful, spoiled, selfish, entitled bitch.

Vail tells them that she studied architecture at Princeton and they are all shocked. As was I. Them trying to get to know her is coming across as an interrogation and Vail is clearly uncomfortable. Jeez, these girls are giving LA women a bad look. In fact, they give women in general a bad look.

Vail tells Katie that she doesn’t understand what Jax did to her and her boyfriend and Katie informs her about the lie Jax created. Stassi, in her confessional, says that she believes Schwartz is guilty. Way to be a good friend. Bitch.

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Before her shift, Katie decides to have a talk with Lisa at PUMP about Jax. She tells Lisa about everything that Jax has said and done. She wants Lisa to move Jax over to PUMP. Again, she should fire Jax instead. He’s creating a hostile work environment and that’s unacceptable. He was only hired because Stassi begged Lisa to give him a job anyway. And it’s not like he’s good at it.

Lisa asks Katie that if she were to give Schwartz an ultimatum between her and Jax, who does she think he would choose. She says she believes he would choose Jax. That says a lot. If that’s the case, dump him. Lisa gets to the root of the problem; that it’s not really Jax, it’s the fact that he consistently lets her down.

Katie breaks down and I want to hug her, but Lisa does it for me. Thanks Lisa! “Sometimes we know what to do, we just don’t want to do it,” Lisa assures Katie. Wise words, Lisa.

Oh look, James and Kristen again. Skipping.

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Katie and Schwartz go to couples therapy. Good for them. I like them as a couple but I think Schwartz has got to get his shit together. Schwartz is starting off with a joke and Katie is annoyed. It’s time to be serious, Schwartz.

Schwartz admitted that he takes her for granted and doesn’t give her the love she deserves. He also says that he felt the need to hide things from her because he built up a wall around her and it’s affected the way he’s treated her. Good for him for recognizing that.

Katie admits to feeling insecure because they also don’t have sex and she doesn’t know if he’s attracted to her anymore. He vows to be more open and affectionate towards her. Hopefully things work out in their favor. I’m rooting for y’all!

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Scheana and Jax head over to Sandoval’s apartment. Somehow Sandoval has nail polish on him and it won’t come off. LOL.

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Jax and his girlfriend broke up but he lies to Scheana and Tom saying that they didn’t. Tom pulls up the text Jax sent them saying that they broke up. Um, what’s the point of lying about that? Oh wait, it’s Jax. He lies about everything.

Vail calls Jax and asks him if he and Tiffany got back together. Scheana is surprised that he told Vail and he invites her out to coffee. For someone who graduated from Princeton, Vail isn’t that smart. Everybody and their grandma knows to stay away from Jax. Scheana tells Sandoval that James wants to talk to him because he doesn’t understand how he can forgive Jax but not James. I don’t understand it either. I say cut ’em both loose. This leads into Tom rehashing everything and Jax looks so uncomfortable talking about this and I love it.

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Tom says that the reason he doesn’t want James in his life is because he is dating the one person that’s the most destructive in his life. Here, here!

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Lisa is making the rounds at SUR. Peter is on my screen. Swoon! Katie passes by and Lisa pulls her over to have a little talk. She asks how they are doing and Katie is happy to report that she had a breakthrough with Schwartz. Katie thanks her for the advice. I would love to work for Lisa. She’d be the best boss ever.

Vail is working and Scheana pops in to say hello. Of course it’s the perfect opportunity to gossip about Jax. Vail confirms that Jax texted her about his breakup. Vail is confused as to why Jax would lie about that. Girl, don’t question it, just accept that Jax is a pathological liar.

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Stassi is babysitting her friends’, Jen and Jeremy, baby boy, Kingston. That little boy is too adorable for words. I could just pinch his cheeks all day. They put him in Stassi’s clothes along with Schwartz and they play “Who Wore it Better?” Kingston wore it better. Duh.

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Vail meets up with Jax over lunch and like my friend (@gangstagay) says: “Vail…oda mae brown

It’s hard to focus on this scene because all I’m seeing is that cold sore on Jax’s upper lip. Gross! Vail calls him out on his lies and I love it. But when it comes to Jax, I still think she’s….naive, to put it nicely.

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At SUR, James pulls Tom aside to talk. Lord, why? James wants to rehash things so that they can put it to bed and Tom is clearly over it and him. Kristen is lurking around as usual. Tom is confused because he thought that they both agreed to go back to the way things were: ignoring each other.

Sandoval is giving James the run down on how Kristen operates and James is getting angry. Why? It’s not like you actually like Kristen. You’re just banging her to be on the show, fool. Oh, right. You have to keep up pretenses. James tells Tom that he’s annoyed that he always has to hear Kristen talk about him and clearly that is his problem, not Tom’s. It’s not Tom’s fault that he will always be second best when it comes to Kristen. Maybe it’s third best, because she did bang Jax a second time, so clearly he can’t be that bad. Yuck.

Kristen then decides to talk Tom about their argument. Once again, she tries to insinuate that Sandoval cheated on her with Ariana by banging her. Um, no honey, they banged after you broke up. Deal with it. Besides, weren’t you the one who banged Jax twice and had an emotional and physical affair with some other dude while you were very much in a relationship with Tom?

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I’m so over this girl. I think she needs to be fired and committed to a psychiatric facility for the rest of her days. Until then,

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Thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought of this episode in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21.

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