Once again, sorry for the late posts. Christmas time is one of my busiest times of the year so I hope you all are baring with me. It’s week 7 of Vanderpump Rules and I’m sick of Jax and Kristen. Yeah, what’s new, right?
We’re picking up right back where we left off: at Stassi’s apartment and Shcwartz comes to surprise Katie with another apology and a bouquet of flowers. It’s a sweet gesture, given the conversation they were having. Stassi immediately goes on the attack and starts chastising Schwartz. I get what he did was shitty, but these people need to stay out of their friends’ relationships. Schwartz stands up for himself and Stassi kicks him out. Yep, I knew that was going to happen. Stassi, you’re getting predictable! No bueno.
There’s a new girl at SUR. Her name is Vail. She’s a Princeton graduate. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders and sweet. Lisa warns her to stay away from Jax. Vail, listen to me, heed Lisa’s advice.
Katie and Shwartz are out on a date. I love these two together. Though they have their moments, they compliment each other well, in my opinion. Tom realizes that he needs to be a better boyfriend and he believes that they can work through it and will become stronger as a couple. Here’s hoping! Katie says that although him admitting that he made out with somebody hurt her, she can move past it. And I’m happy, because making out with somebody once when you’re drunk, in my opinion, is not enough to break up a relationship.
It’s Gay Pride!! And I’m totally disappointed that Peter isn’t shirtless. What gives, Lisa… Aside from Kristen and Jax. SURprisingly, SUR isn’t as busy as usual on Gay Pride. Probably because everybody’s at PUMP.
At PUMP, Stassi pays Schwartz a visit and is trying to chastise him again. Girl, get a new shtick, this one’s getting old. Yes, Schwartz messed up. But he does not have to prove himself to you as he is not dating you. If Katie is willing to move past it, so should you. Move on. Stop harping on it ya damn harpy!
Kristen is talking to her fame whore fetus boyfriend, James, about Sandoval. James is annoyed that all Kristen wants to talk to him about is Tom. Tom this. Tom that. Uh, you knew what you signed up for, buddy! Don’t get annoyed now. Scheana tries to throw a little bit of shade at Lisa. Bad move, girl.
Stassi’s now at SUR and Guillermo makes a cameo! Yay, I love Guillermo. He’s sweet, charming and sexy as hell. Although I would never cheat on Peter, have you guys heard Guillermo’s accent? Swoon!
Jax goes to PUMP to visit Shwartz. Skipping! I can’t stand watching any of Jax’s segments. He’s a repulsive human being.
Kristen tries to confront Ariana. Saying that it’s deja vu because it was that time of year when she asked if she was banging Tom while they were dating. She’s being really nasty to Ariana, claiming that Tom is cheating on her like he did with her. I wish Ariana would take one of the Villa Blanca bottles and break it on Kristen’s head. But that would be too good for Kristen. I think Kristen should be locked up in a padded cell for the rest of her days.
Stassi meets Vail briefly and starts throwing shade immediately. Though I don’t condone her shade throwing at Scheana (because I want them to put their egos aside and make up) it was pretty funny. “Oh, my God. Scheana looked like 2 butterflies landed on her eyelashes and shit a crayon.”
At Kristen’s– I mean James’– apartment, she’s getting ready to pick up the rest of her stuff at Tom’s apartment. Seriously? I thought she got all her shit the last time? James is annoyed that she’s getting all dolled up and I’m laughing. Out of all the reality TV stars he could have bedded to enhance his career, he chooses Kristen. Yeah, say goodbye to your DJ career.
At Sandoval’s apartment, he has Schwartz there as a witness. Good thinking. See why I love Sandoval? He’s not just looks, he’s also got brains. Kristen shows up with her tits hanging out.
Sandoval reminds her that she’s been kicked out 6 months ago and he shouldn’t be getting any of her stuff. She’s trying to start an argument and Schwartz shuts her down. Yay! #TeamSchwardoval!
Sandoval confronts her about what she said to Ariana at SUR and again, I wish somebody would hit Kristen over the head with a bottle, knocking her ass out cold, and surprising her when she wakes up by locking her in a padded cell. Kristen calls him babe.
Super awky! Yes, bitch, we know you’re not over him. We know you’re never going to be over him. And most importantly, we know your thirsty ass called him babe on purpose. There was nothing accidental about it. There’s a reason why you’re still a waitress, it’s because you’re not a good enough actress. And scene!
Kristen tries to accuse Sandoval of banging Ariana behind her back…again. Girl, it didn’t happen. You’re the only one who believes that. I’m done with this… psycho. Kristen tells Tom that she wants him to be happy but she fails to realize that he’s only ever truly happy when he’s away from her. So, if you want him to be happy, leave him alone and go bang your fame whoring fetus boyfriend while you can because you know it’s just a matter of time before he dumps your psychotic ass.
Ariana shows up (Yay!) and you can clearly see a change in Sandoval’s demeanor immediately. When he’s around Kristen, he gets very sulky, sad and angry. When he’s with Ariana, his face lights up like a Christmas tree. Again, this is awkward, considering Ariana will be my wife one day.
Vail shows up at SUR to meet with Lisa. She says that she was a soap opera actress who lost her way after she got addicted to drugs. She’s now sober and is trying to get back on her feet. Good for her. I respect that. She tells Lisa that she tries to avoid people who will steer her down the wrong path again and Lisa warns her about Jax again. Run, Vail, run!
Katie, Stassi and Kristina Kelly (I still don’t think that’s a real name) are out baking a cake for Peter’s birthday. Katie basically tells them about her talk with Schwartz on their date. Stassi really went from “Queen Bee” of the group to irrelevant outsider who’s quickly getting on my nerves. Once again, Stassi’s trying to impose her rules and her beliefs on another couple’s relationship. Girl, do you not see you’re doing the same thing that Jax is trying to do? The only difference is, she’s doing it in a less evil way than Jax is.
Oy vey, I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of this season. Maybe I should be drinking when I watch this show. No, I don’t want to die from alcohol poisoning. What did you think of this episode? Let me know in the comments section or tweet me @SalvaCam21.
Merry Christmas guys! Wishing you all a fun, safe Christmas with all of your loved ones.