#RHOBH S05E04 “Livin’ La Vida Housewife” Recap

Sorry for the late recap guys! It’s been crazy lately at Casa Cambranes. Nonetheless, we’re back to week 4 of The Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls. I, personally, am loving this season! After a pathetic attempt of trivial pursuit that was last season, this season, the glamour, sparkles and fun times are back in full force. Thank God because I was just about ready to give up on this show.

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Kim invites Kyle over so that she can show her her dress for Brooke’s wedding. All of Kim’s children are sick, including Kim. For a sick woman, Kim looks stunning. Kyle then finds out that Kim is actually sick herself and Kim didn’t tell her because Kyle wouldn’t have come over if she knew. The look on Kyle’s face has me laughing. But I get it. The last thing you’d want is to be sick with Bronchitis while in Spain.

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Brandi is having a meeting with her boss and they’re talking about expanding her “brand” from Brandi Glanville Unfiltered, to a more family-friendly Brandi. I almost choke on my pretzel when I hear this. I don’t think someone who calls their seven year old a fucker and tells him– to his face I might add– to go fuck himself is very family friendly.

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Kyle and her family are getting ready to go to Spain. Shouldn’t they have packed and gotten everything together the day before? That way they don’t have to run around like chickens with their heads cut off and have to rush to the airport. Just saying. Sophia is in the south of France with some family friends and she’ll meet them in Spain. God, I wish I did that kind of traveling when I was her age.

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Lisa and Ken are out shopping for new clothes for Giggy. Did I mention that I’m coming back as Giggy in my next life? Lisa says that they both view Giggy as the child of the family and I get it. Pandora is now married with her own family and and Max is 22. Hey, Lisa, if you want more kids, you can adopt me. I may be older than Max but I’ll let you take care of me! I promise!

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Eileen is having a BBQ at her house and she says that her and her husband bicker a lot. Their bickering is totally different than the way Adrienne and Paul used to bicker. And by different, I mean it’s not cringe-worthy. Eileen’s body is SICK! Is this woman really 55? She puts women in their 20’s and 30’s to shame. I imagine women in their 20’s and 30’s looking at her like this:

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Kyle and her family arrive in Spain. The yacht is gorgeous. Kyle and Alexia have breakfast and go over what she needs when she heads off to college. Time really does fly. Wasn’t Alexia starting high school when this show came out? Yolanda arrives from being in Europe with David and taking care of her mom.

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Kyle and Yolanda go on whatever the hell you call it (pictured above). She calls the donuts “bagels” and has me craving an onion bagel. Thanks, Yolanda. It’s bad enough that I’m going to get fat off of turkey and ham this Christmas, now you’re making me get fat on bagels too. Yolanda’s “bagel” almost has her going backwards in the water and I’m laughing my ass off. What’s more hilarious is how she keeps yelling “My bagel! My bagel!”

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Lisa Vanderpump and Lisa Rinna have lunch at Villa Blanca. I love these two together. They’re hilarious. I think they should have their own spin off show. What an adventure that would be. Lisa V invites Lisa R to go with her to Palm Springs to receive her star on the Palm Springs Walk of Fame. Yay!

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Kyle and Yolanda are exploring Spain and it is absolutely breathtaking. I need to go to Spain. I feel like I’ll die if I don’t go. They’re also sword fighting with Spanish pirates. Again, as a gay man, that creates a whole other visual in our heads. Ha. They stop at a restaurant and Yolanda opens up about her mom having cancer again. My heart breaks for her.

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Brandi is at home waiting for her new car to arrive and I can’t even focus on the scene because…HAVE YOU SEEN HER INTERVIEW LOOK?! She looks like one of the girls from Flavor of Love and Rock of Love with Bret Michaels had a love child.

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I don’t know how much more clear it could be that this woman does not belong on this show. Bravo, get rid of her!

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Back in Spain, Yolanda and Kyle are bonding more. This time, over their children leaving for college. Kyle starts crying immediately. It’s vacation! Now’s not the time to worry about that. It’s time to live in the moment and enjoy the time you have left with your children before they leave. Oy!

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The two Lisas are out shopping for their outfits for Palm Springs. Lisa R says that she feels that she and Lisa could get into trouble and she doesn’t feel that way with many people. I say don’t fight it and just give into it.

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Everyone’s having dinner and Yolanda gets a call from David telling her that Bella got arrested for a DUI. I feel bad for Yolanda. Clearly, she’s a good mother and her kid messed up. I don’t think that’s a reflection of who she is as a parent. Kids are going to make mistakes, it’s a part of life. The good thing is, no one was hurt.

Next week’s episode looks good. Kim’s daughter gets married and Lisa receives her star! Can’t wait.

What did you think of this episode? Let me know in the comments section or tweet me (@SalvaCam21)

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