#RHOA S07E03 “All Tea All Shade” Recap

The Real Housewives of Atlanta are back for another episode and this season is proving to be the most dramatic yet. We’re only in episode 3 and things are really heating up!

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We start off with Kenya and her aunt, Lori, doing some flower shopping. Kenya’s downloading Lori on what went down at Cynthia’s party. Then, we have Kandi meeting up with Porsha and Phaedra, downloading them on Cynthia’s event as well. Lori tells Kenya that she needs to forgive without conditions and I agree. Forgiveness isn’t for them, baby girl, it’s for you. Kandi tells Porsha and Phaedra that Apollo lied about everything he said about Kenya and Phaedra actually says she owes Kenya an apology. My mouth just dropped to the floor…like Porsha’s as soon as she found her sugar daddy.

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Cynthia is making dinner and her and Peter are having a conversation about the “Apollo Confession.” Cynthia believes that Phaedra owes Kenya an apology because she was just as involved in the smear campaign as Apollo and Porsha and Nene and Kandi were. She then starts to go off about Porsha and how Porsha’s calling her a flip-flopper because she agreed that Porsha was provoked but she handled the situation the wrong way. I don’t know why Cynthia is surprised. Porsha is dumber than dirt and doesn’t comprehend much. Does she really think she’d be able to understand where she’s coming from? There’s a reason why “bitch” is a five-letter word: it’s all they know.

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Kandi and Todd are in bed talking about having babies. Supposedly they just had sex but I don’t buy it. Her hair looks too well-put for me to believe that. To me, ever since they got married, they don’t seem to be on the same page, but that’s none of my business. Kandi says she’s 38 and doesn’t want to have a baby in her 40’s, but Todd wants to put the baby-making process on hold for a while because he’ll be too busy in the next few months. Those 2 need to get it together and compromise. Seriously, I want them to have a baby. Imagine how cute it’ll be.

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Finally, we’re being introduced to Claudia. This woman is gorgeous. I still can’t believe she’s 41, holy hell! She and Kenya are looking for furniture because she just moved to Atlanta. Claudia and I have a couple of things in common. 1. When it comes to love, when things get serious, we tend to mess things up. 2. If a guy is good looking, crazy and an asshole, we’ve dated him. Claudia says that she’s had her tooth fall out during sex, like it’s completely normal. It hasn’t happened to me before. Maybe that means that I haven’t been having great sex. Sad face. Basically, what I learned from this segment of the show is that Claudia is beautiful, funny, sexy, sweet, crazy and I love her already.

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Nene’s back in Atlanta, ugh, and she visits Porsha in the house she rented for the show, in vain, I might add. She tries to throw shade at Cynthia, making fun of her throwing pageants and castings, but at least Cynthia has a career. Where’s Porsha getting money from that she can afford a Rolls Royce? Her sugar daddy, as her good friend Nene points out. Porsha, shut up, and when you go to sleep at night, pray for brains. Nene tries to throw shade at Claudia, calling her thirsty. I sense Nene is threatened. Oh, and Nene doesn’t think Phaedra owes Kenya an apology. I also sense Porsha’s stupidity is rubbing off on Nene. Girl, bye.

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Phaedra is taking Ayden and Dylan out for a swim and I feel terrible for those kids. Apollo is seeing Nene and Porsha’s divorce attorney. #DivorceByBravo. Phaedra doesn’t know if she wants to traumatize her sons by letting them visit their daddy in prison and Apollo wants to get everything he can out of Phaedra before he goes to jail. I think this whole situation is disgusting. Apollo says he despises everything about Phaedra but he still loves her. Huh?

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Todd’s daughter, Kaela, finally moves to Atlanta. She looks exactly like Todd…and one of my cousins. I wonder if we’re related. I’m just kidding. Not really. Kandi introduces Riley to her new stepsister and the two do not seem like they will be friends in the near future. I hope that changes. Awkward.

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Cynthia is waiting for Porsha at a restaurant after Porsha invited her out so that they can hash things out. Porsha is an hour late and Cynthia is already fed up. I have to say, I’m enjoying this feisty Cynthia. Porsha arrives and it is on. Cynthia is already letting Porsha know what time it is. Things are escalating quickly, but at least nobody is being dragged. Porsha is trying to throw Cynthia’s past comments in her face and Cynthia reminds her that she’s only been retaliating to the shade that she’s been throwing. This argument is going in circles and I’m over it, and so is Cynthia and she gets up and leaves.

Next week’s episode looks juicy. I can’t wait. Mostly because I want to see more of Claudia and what she brings to the show that makes the others so bothered.

Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought of last night’s episode in the comments section!

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One thought on “#RHOA S07E03 “All Tea All Shade” Recap

  1. Great review!!! Cynthia was EVERYTHING and yes I enjoyed Claudia’s introduction to the show and I love her and Kenya’s friendship cause it comes across as genuine! Word on the street is Kandi and Phaedra are not that tight anymore! ☺ I think this will be a crazy season but I do enjoy seeing my favorites laugh and smile. I don’t want it to ever get like it was during that horrible pajama party!

    Like

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