#RHOBH & #PumpRules

Welcome to my first blog post and thank you for reading! My name is Salvador and I’m a huge fan of The Real Housewives franchises, particularly The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and its sexy spin-off, Vanderpump Rules. While the shows are airing I’ll be recapping each episode and I will do my best to keep it real. Here’s my view of RHOBH and its ensemble cast as well as the cast of Vanderpump Rules. I’ll do another blog about the other cities as I watch all of them.

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The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills  was the first out of the franchises I was introduced to. I was a big fan of 90210 and the original Beverly Hills, 90210 and I was very excited to watch real women living in Beverly Hills showcase their lavish homes and luxurious lifestyles for us. After watching the very first episode, I was hooked. Not only did I know I was in love with the show, I knew I was in love with the dynamics of the women as their relationships seemed very authentic. One housewife, in particular, I fell in love with immediately:

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Lisa Vanderpump: I know nobody in life is perfect, but to me, Lisa is pretty damn close to it. She had me at, “My husband calls me a sex object. He says every time he wants sex, I object.” The reason I love her is simple: she has a British sense of humor which is very dry and I get it, because we Belizeans have the same sense of humor. However, what I found the most endearing about her as the show went on, was the love she had for her friends. She was always there for her friends and she always had their backs. (And she never put a knife through it either). Not to mention she had virtually the entire cast turn against her last season and had them crawling back, begging for forgiveness and begging her to be their friend again. I may be a bit biased from time to time when recapping the episodes because she is my favorite housewife of all time but as I said, I’ll keep it 100% real.

Kyle Richards: Initially, Kyle was my second favorite housewife. She seemed very down to Earth and had a sense of family and realness that I found admirable, Then season 2 happened.  After every episode of season 2, I kept getting the feeling that Kyle had let the show gone to her head. She became extremely catty to Brandi and then she joined in the gang up, I’m sorry, gang ups– plural, of Lisa. As hard as she tried to redeem herself every season since then, she kept failing. She never understood that all she had to do was stop talking crap behind Lisa’s back. But hey, hopefully this season they get back on the right track as I did enjoy their friendship. Out of all the women in the group, their friendship seemed the most authentic.

Taylor Armstrong: Taylor, Taylor, Taylor. Initially, I did not like Taylor. She seemed to be too caught up in the Beverly Hills lifestyle and would do and put up with anything to maintain that lifestyle. Not only that but she was a constant shit-stirrer on the show. Cut to season two and watching her go through everything that she did broke my heart. I still didn’t like her, but I had a lot of empathy for her, because nobody deserves to be tormented like that. Going into the second  half of season 3, she started to grow on me. She appeared to be in a much better place and started to mend fences with some and wasn’t afraid to call out the lies and hypocrisy of Adrienne and Camille.

Camille Grammer: Well, Camille season 1: pernicious. Need I say more? Okay. In season 1, she was very sneaky, manipulative, arrogant, narcissistic, materialistic, etc. I could go on, but I don’t want to. Season 2 she completely redeemed herself. I thought to myself, “Wow, I hope she pays her PR people handsomely.” Although she was boring, I ended up liking her. In my opinion, after season 2, she should have stopped because she made a complete ass of herself in season 3! But after the disaster that was last season, I’m glad she’s back. I just hope she doesn’t show her ass again, though.

Adrienne Maloof: My first impression of Adrienne was that she was a very level-headed business woman. Her voice annoyed the hell out of me but to me she was harmless. Then in season 2 she was showing a very petty and bitchy side of her that turned me off. Plus she orchestrated the whole gang up of Lisa at the reunion. After that, I was done. Season 3 didn’t help matters either. Like Camille, she made a complete ass of herself and had lied too many times that she couldn’t keep up with the stories she had Bernie leak to the press…allegedly. However, I cannot put the total blame on Adrienne for that fiasco, I put most of the blame on her, but not all of it. Brandi was also at fault for revealing Adrienne’s family secrets.

Kim Richards: Kim, for those who don’t know, is Kyle’s older sister. She’s also a former child star and never lets us forget it. I felt sorry for her in season 1 because I really didn’t think she fit in. She marched to the beat of her own drum and is always rambling. After the hot mess she became in season 2 and after her alcoholism came out, I thought she should have stayed off the show…at least for a while. My instincts were right because last season her storyline was her dog, repeated gossip as if she knew it to be true and even when sober, her perception of reality still seems to be distorted.

Brandi Glanville: When Brandi came on the show in season 2, I thought she was a hoot. I loved her immediately. She was very unfairly treated and the fact that Kyle and Kim refused to own up to their parts for a long time only put me in her corner more. Then in season 3, her friendship with Lisa grew and they were pretty much inseparable.But as the saying goes, “All good things must come to an end.” Last season, Brandi’s ego got so big that it pretty much needed to hold its own diamond in the opening. She was a big bitch to Kyle, Joyce, and got almost everyone to gang up on Lisa because of some bullshit hearsay and she got jealous. She basically told Lisa to fuck off and got sad when Lisa obliged. Make up your mind, Stupid! Now, she spends her time starting fights and she likes to project her qualities onto others. Can someone take away her diamond please? She doesn’t fit in!

Yolanda Foster: Initially I thought Yolanda was boring, and she is. But I still liked her. She had  a lot of opinions and she wasn’t afraid to share them. Sidenote: I’ve never met Yolanda but if I did, I’d imagine she smells like fresh lemons and almonds. My admiration for Yolanda was shot down after she was searching to have a problem with Lisa last season.

Joyce Giraud de Ohoven: Sadly, Joyce was a one season housewife. I’m bummed because I really liked her. She was very sweet and loving and let us know her husband has a big pee-pee which basically makes me want to go to Germany. Plus, she had a very high tolerance for bullshit, which I respect, and wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. And, oh yeah, she sent Brandi running home, crying with her tail between her legs after Brandi tried to pick another fight with her. It’s too bad Bravo rewards bad behavior. I think Joyce had a better future with the group than Brandi.

Carlton Gebbia: I tried liking Carlton,  I really did. I have a fascination of all things Wicca. When I had heard a witch was joining the show for the first time, I was stoked. However, my excitement began to fade away after she seemed to be a miserable, sex crazed witch. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed certain moments where she made Kyle squirm but after a while, I had had enough. Fortunately, she is also a one season housewife.

Lisa Rinna: The only reason I know who she is is because my mom is obsessed with soap operas and I’d use to watch Days of Our Lives with my mom and I’d see her. I like the fact that she has genuine friendships with a lot of the cast members on the show. It makes for an easy transition into the group. Bravo, Bravo, you did good in casting her.

Eileen Davidson: Like LR, the only reason I know who she is is because of my mom. Unfortunately, we have to wait until episode 3 to finally get introduced to her, but from clips that I’ve seen of her, I like her already.

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Vanderpump Rules is the sexy spin-off of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It’s totally different from RHOBH. The cast is much younger, the drama is more intense and fast-paced and it’s focused around Lisa Vanderpump, her restaurant, SUR, and her staff. I absolutely love this show! Thank you, Lisa. Like RHOBH, I do have my favorites and others I loathe.

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Ariana Madix: Ariana is my boo! We’ve tweeted each other a few times and I’m waiting for the day that I get to whisk her away and sail into the Belizean sunset eating ceviche and drinking Caribbean Coconut Rum. We also share a mutual love of hot sauce. Ariana.Is.Everything!

Scheana Marie-Shay: I have to be honest, I tried my best not to like her. To me, I thought of her as nothing more than a mistress. But after watching her on the show and seeing that, unlike Brandi, she has a heart of gold and is actually a good person, I fell in love a little. (Sorry Ariana!) Scheana, I’m sorry I judged you before getting to know you.

Tom Sandoval: After seeing how much shit Tom puts up with when it comes to Kristen, I think he should change his name to Saint Tom. Like Scheana, I see he has a heart of gold and looks for the best in everybody. I mean, the fact that he forgave Jax for banging Kristen (yuck!) shows what a good heart he has. Tom, we love you.

Stassi Schroeder: Watching Stassi on the first season, I never thought anybody could be so vile and cruel in my life. Then season 2 aired and she started to grow on me. I think it’s because she made me laugh a lot more that season. Oh, yeah, she also slapped the shit out of Kristen too. That kind of sealed the deal for me. This season, I see she’s grown up a little bit. Good for her. I’m still bummed her friendship with Scheana didn’t last.

Kristen Doute: Lord have mercy. Where do I begin? The fact that she signed up for a reality show clearly wasn’t enough. She had to insert herself into everybody’s problem too. For God’s sake, the world doesn’t revolve around you, Kristen! She’s the ex of Saint Tom (they were together for 5 years) and banged his best friend of 10 years (twice no less!) Jax and gave him a lot of shit for kissing Ariana 3 years ago. Now that they’ve broken up, she’s more obsessed with him now than when they were together. I don’t want to say she’s psycho– okay yes I do. Kristen, you’re psycho.

Jax Taylor: When I first saw Jax, I thought “Damn! he’s hot!” Then it was revealed that he’s a very shallow, self absorbed, narcissistic, selfish guy. He slept with his best friend’s girlfriend and showed no remorse for it. He said that he did Saint Tom a favor and honestly, I have to agree. Jax is trying to redeem himself this season. Good luck with that.

Katie Maloney: I really like Katie. I think she’s sweet and pretty. However, when she’s drunk, look out. It’s a whole other Katie coming out. Love her or hate her, she’s loyal to her friend Stassi, which is an admirable quality, considering Stassi isn’t the easiest of people to be friends with. She’s also dating Tom Shwartz, who’s pretty damn adorable.

Peter Madrigal: Peter is bae. Enough said.

Tom Schwartz: He’s Katie’s boyfriend and he seems to be the sweetest boyfriend anyone can have. He admits to being attracted to Lisa (hey, the guy has great taste)! He’s very loyal to his friends and tries to do the right thing, when he’s not getting into bar brawls. But in his defense, he was backing up his friend, which is what you should do, ergo, he always does the right thing. =)

From sipping rosé at Villa Rosa at sunset, to going shirtless, preparing for battle, the reality TV gods have given us the gifts that are The Real Housewives and Vanderpump Rules. Thanks again for reading!

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